Ode to my Onset

Imagine this:

A naturally heavenly ambiance, jam-packed with ecstatic temperaments. A locale where simplicity reigns and serenity speaks. You’re in the acme of your wishful thinking and quixotic dreams, frolicking and flying in mid-air. Nothing to think and worry about. Just you and your momentous solitude. Peaceful and quiet and…

“Aisko! Dyeste! Sa meron! Sa wala!! Aisko! Aisko!!”

Flabbergasted screams filled the tranquil air surmounting over the calmness and silence of the moment. To your dismay, all of your visionary dreams will evaporate the moment these strident screeches crowd the air.

“Aisko! Dyeste! Sa meron! Sa wala!! Aisko! Aisko!!”

These are just some of the words that went ringing in my ears all throughout the years I have dwelt in a place called Don Luis Rabat Village. A village situated at the quiet simple town of Mati, Davao Oriental, the sunrise capital of the Philippines. And this was where my world began.

It was inside our house when I first took a glimpse on what the world was. My world back then just lie along the four corners of our little domicile. Life back then, was simple, in my own naive mind’s view. It was in fact, simple, for everyone who lived in our small town.

I was a taciturn child at my early childhood. I was neither friendly nor communicative. I had my own world. I was inside a bubble and nobody else is allowed to go inside. Just me. I thought I was going to be like that, forever. I was hopeless for I, myself, didn’t even give a chance for my betterment, young as I was. I was afraid.

Afraid of the menace the world has yet to offer. I was so incredulous and I was still so young to be so dubious about the outside world.

Sitting beside the translucent window witnessing the splendor of the twilight became my pastime. It was so beautiful that you’ll easily fall for it. It displays a perfect panorama which you can never forget. It was a picturesque of heaven. I believe it wasn’t only I who was watching and falling in love with the beauty of the dusk. I was certain some people were also looking at the breathtaking view of the sky. It was without a shadow of a doubt, amazingly grandiose.

As I watch people pass by our house, I noticed their faces were never without smiles. They seemed to be happy. The one I can’t forget was this really “big” bearded man who, from my observation, walks by our house every approximately five in the afternoon. I was sort of afraid of him when I first saw him. I was startled for he really looks like Shrek in his big figure. Somehow, I thought he was a monster. I was a kid then, very imaginative.

Days, weeks, months had passed; I never missed a single day watching him pass by. I looked at him with myself unseen, hiding behind the big curtains hanging on our window. He seemed to be contented with what he was. He smiles even when there was no one around. For once, I thought he was insane. But he wasn’t, my dad assured me. I continued stalking him. But not to the extent that I’d follow him home. I just waited for him to walk by and look at him anxiously.

One day, while I was already preparing to hide under the curtains, chagrin came up to me like a stone thrown directly on my head. He didn’t come. Where could he be? I was anxious about his whereabouts until dad noticed me. By the time I looked out of the window, he already knew the answer. “Ah. That big Mister, eh? His gone far far away dear.” I didn’t quite get that but dad just gave me a hesitant grin. I was baffled. Where could he be? I don’t know why I felt sorry for him. He might be exiled or dead or I don’t know. I was just a kid. Never had thoughts like that before.

I was again seated by the window when I noticed some kids from our neighborhood playing a game which was really strange. I never played before maybe that’s why I didn’t know how to call that game. My brother noticed me staring eagerly at them and without ifs, ands, or buts about, he dragged me excitedly outside. I was bemused.

Wow. So this is how it feels like to go outside the house. I was ridiculous. It was my first time to set foot outside our very home! There was a feeling of excitement and perplexity when all the kids gathered around me. I was a little scared but I was still able to gather all my confidence for my brother was there. He introduced me to his playmates and by that day onwards, I never missed a single day playing outside. I became “normal”. Many thanks to my brother.

I learned to mingle and make friends. I was really overwhelmed by the idea of playing all day long. Santan Street, Don Luis Rabat Village, was my enchanted kingdom when I was still a kid. Unending happiness of playing, strolling and owning this place. Who cares? Life for me before was my play time. The so called “balay-balay” is never a tedious work for me, my siblings, cousins and neighbors. They were my usual playmates during my time. “Dula ta?!” this word never receives a NO for an answer. However, 6:00 pm was our curfew. No one should stay outside our house by this time. Still out beyond six and for sure you’ll get beaten by dad. Dad became so strict when I and my siblings learned how to play beyond our backyards.

I can still remember. Darkness was covering the blue skies. It was almost seven and dad still wasn’t home yet. We seized the opportunity. We were still playing on the streets. We were so overwhelmed; we made real stalls out of woods and nipa. We didn’t mind the time for dad wasn’t around yet. It was really the best “balay-balay” ever. The stalls were all done.

They were so beautiful and they seemed so real. We were already dividing whose stall was which when suddenly; my brother heard the sound of dad’s motorcycle. Kuya remorselessly ruined our stalls and grabbed me and my sister back to our house. But before we can get in, dad’s motor was already parked outside the house, to my sister’s panic, she peed in her short pants. That was really trembling! Know what our dad did? He just laughed boisterously. I and my brother joined him laughing. My sister was so piteous that the only thing she could do was burst out into tears.

After that incident, we never exceeded from six in the evening. The genesis of real life opened to me when I began to go to school. I met different personalities. It wasn’t hard for me to mingle with my classmates and make friends by that time for I was already taught how to. School was my second home.

I grew up and turned into adolescent, my world change a lot. It wasn’t a playground anymore. It was more of a bazaar. A colossal cockpit was built two blocks away from our house. It was so annoying for I can’t concentrate well with my studies and homework. Earsplitting, thunderous, annoying screams and cheers filled the air. To my dismay, it lasted for about 13 hours. From five in the afternoon up to six in the morning.

I’d sleep with the vociferous noise and have it as an alarm clock in the morning. It was so disturbing! For heaven’s sake it was so annoying!! But the irony was, I was somehow getting used to it. I can’t sleep without the noise anymore. It seemed like a mechanism for me to sleep.

Going to a much bigger world, our town, It wasn’t surprising for me anymore to see more peculiar personalities. Mati was a reserved town. Very simple and quiet. Although it was struggling to become a city, the people in my place never wanted it to be one. They were contented for what the place was. The project of the congress was alarming to the tycoons of Mati. They were afraid their little businesses would be covered and their livelihoods will fall. For environmentalists, it was a perilous step. They were thinking of the natural wealth of the town and never wanted them to be imperil and worse, extinct.

But the vox populi wasn’t heard. Mati became a city. Menaces came endlessly to the minds of the people who really care about the town. It was a big slap on the face of the Local government unit of Mati when the cityhood of the town was rebuked. But on the other hand, an immense triumph for the majority of the Matinians. It was such a big “laughing-matter”. A shameful one.

It was so despondent for me to leave and study college in a much greater world. I never really wanted to study far from home for I was already used to the life I have lived in our small town. It was really hard for me. I didn’t want to be independent. What for if my parents were still paying for my education? Don’t argue with me. Please. But later on, I was left with no options. My parents threw me into a different world. I understood them. It was my time to take another journey and walk into the threshold of new life.

My nights at the dormitory were so miserable. I can’t figure it out. I toss and turn at night. I can’t sleep well. It’s just that, I’m missing something out. Not my parents, not my siblings, not our house. It’s the …

“Aisko! Dyeste! Sa meron! Sa wala!! Aisko! Aisko!!”

My mechanism to sleep. ;)